A Comprehensive Guide To Everything Useful I’ve Written About Women and empowering/supporting them in my newsletter.
Usually, the days leading up to women’s day are a full-on corporate and brand circus. Lots of important (but kinda hollow) initiatives are planned and broadcasted, plenty of brands offer “women’s day” sales, and overall, it’s a pretty performative day.
To help you navigate some of the performative bs out there, here’s a quick list of helpful articles from my newsletter, Not Controversial, that focus on making women’s lives easier. Or, they highlight the little spoken-about issues we deal with, so we can work on fixing them.
Money, money, money
Historically, money has been a hush-hush topic for everyone. But somehow, when a woman decides to talk about money openly, it’s labelled vulgar or considered very unladylike.
Being open about money & finances and sharing critical information about it only benefits people. Companies might be afraid because people could find out they’re being underpaid for doing the same job (hello, gender pay gap). Here are some articles to read to make talking about money easier in your circles.
1. How much do you make?
I explore why we shy away from talking about money and take a general perspective on why keeping quiet about finances is detrimental in the long term.
2. Why you need to ask for more money at work
Self-explanatory title right here; find out why it’s good practice (and often, an expected one) to negotiate your salary and ask for a raise.
3. Pay transparency: benefits for an individual and benefits for a company
Now, how do you ask for what you’re worth if you don’t know the going rate? Encouraging pay transparency and ensuring companies don’t skirt laws supporting it are vital to reducing the gender pay gap. This is one way to #EmbraceEquity (the theme for IWD 2023).
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means (to me)
The roots of misogyny and patriarchy run so deep, sometimes they’re invisible. Across some of my most popular issues of Not Controversial, I’ve talked about the problems women face due to the action (and sometimes inaction) of others (often men in power). Here’s a selection of some of the most important stuff worth knowing:
1. Can we lighten women’s mental loads?
Women take on a disproportionate amount of the cognitive/mental labour in their house. Consider who usually “assigns” or “creates” the chores list. Who reminds their spouse to take out the trash? The reminder is a chore — something that takes up mental space.
2. Teen girls create superstars. We better start respecting them.
Let’s delve into why teen girls and their passions are so cruelly mocked by most of the world. Whether it’s a boyband or a new style that makes them feel nice, it’s easy to see how little we respect their tastes (this rarely happens with boys’ interests which are quite immediately taken more seriously).
3. Supporting your football team vs stanning your fav musician
In a similar vein, let’s dig a little deeper to see that we not only don’t respect girls’ interests when they’re young, but we continue to mock them as they grow older. People call Taylor Swift’s fans (Swifties) all sorts of names when they get upset or involved with their artist’s stuff. No one bats an eye when a man loses it if his favourite sports team loses a match.
In history & in media
Whether it’s not allowing fictional female characters to be unlikeable or accidentally (sometimes, purposely) erasing women’s contributions from history (Yoko Ono co-wrote Imagine — did you know that?), the way women have been overshadowed in favour of their male counterparts is wild. In fact, if you think about it (and I have), the reason ‘romance’ isn’t taken seriously as a literary genre is because it’s primarily written and consumed by a predominantly female crowd. Also, we’re very used to shaming women for their pleasure or for highlighting their pain.
How can we use women’s day for good?
Sometimes when I’m thankful for the times I live in (where I can read and write and share my thoughts with the world without needing permission from a male relative), I feel sad for just how awful it used to be (and how much farther we’ve got to go).
Information is critical to helping us along with the path. Men, please make space for women and do so before you’re asked — sometimes, we don’t know what we’re missing out on because we’ve never had the right opportunity. Share information freely.
For those in positions of power and privilege, especially fellow women (of colour, Black, and otherwise), lift up the other women in your life — again, try to do so without being asked. It’s the only way forward to build an equitable, understanding world for us all.
If you’re a woman (and trans women are women, btw), I hope these issues help you gain some confidence and understanding to ask for what you’re worth.
For my male, non-binary, and gender-fluid friends, please share this issue with a woman or two who you think would benefit from reading it.
Support women-led businesses, especially those by WOC and Black women. Don’t simply send trite Women’s Day wishes that ring hollow. Instead, do something substantive to show your support — share resources and information (you can do that throughout the year, no need to wait for March 8).
If you’d like to read more similar, thought-provoking articles that explore our lives, cultures, and way of living, please subscribe here: niacarnelio.substack.com
